I also used this time to scan a load of old printed photographs on the computer and then saved them on to disc for various family members as a keepsake.

If you have budding musicians or singers within your friend and family circle why not consider involving them within the service by playing a song or a piece of music? 

This is lovely way of people feeling that they have contributed to the personalisation of the service. Professional singers, choirs and musicians can also be hired to add that extra special element to the service if this is what is important to you.

Emotions are heightened when we are grieving and the just the smallest thing can bring us comfort when we are feeling so vulnerable. We can feel comforted by flavours and scents as well and familiar sights and sounds so why not have the favourite smells and food that you associated with your loved one in the gathering following the service? Think of the happy memories that they might evoke and comfort that they may bring.

Many people now request that, in lieu of flowers, they would prefer for mourners to make a donation to a charity of the families choosing (possibly based on a condition the deceased had been living with) or for a cause that was particularly close to their heart. It is such a positive gesture for the family to make an, often, sizeable contribution in memory of their loved one, knowing that some good can come from something so painful.

The funeral director will offer to collect the money on your behalf and either pay it in for you (providing you with a letter of receipt) or you can request for the collection and make the deposit yourself. 

Many charities will send you donation envelopes in advance which can be given out with the Order of Service and attendance cards when people arrive at the service venue. 

If your loved one served in the military or had a connection to one of the armed forces or emergency services or Scouting groups then why not reflect this in the service as a personal touch. 

As well as talking about their service in the Eulogy, you might want to consider displaying their cap, flag or medals on top of the coffin in front of (or instead of) the flowers. I have seen some funerals who have a guard of honour that page (walk in front or alongside) the coffin to the chapel, which, I know meant a lot to the family.

The Royal British Legion often provides a uniformed representative to stand guard during the service and a flag to drape across the coffin.

It is also worth noting that the Cardiff & Glamorgan Crematorium give a discount on the service fee on receipt of proof of service. 

If a loved one was a very colourful person or known for always wearing a certain colour, some families request that the mourners wear a particular colour to reflect this. Wearing anything but black used to be thought of as disrespectful but these days people are more relaxed about attire and it is their presence and their support of the family that is important.

This option does rather depend on the tone you set for the service and works best for vibrant characters, younger people or certainly for a Celebration of Life service rather than a traditional service.

I will happy wear clothes to fit in with any colour scheme chosen or wear appropriate sombre coloured colours if that is preferred.

For my Dad’s funeral (which was a Service of Thanksgiving after a private family committal earlier in the day) we requested that people wear bright colours to reflect his personality. Looking out on the congregation as I read a poem and seeing a sea of bright colours was so much easier than being faced with row upon row of dark suits and black ties (I’ll never forget one particularly garish Hawaiian Shirt ........ Dad would have loved it!).

I went to one funeral where the lady was known for her love of impressive high heeled shoes so all her close friends decided to wear their snazziest stilettos in her honour.

Many crematorium and service chapels now offer the facility of a recording of the complete service on CD, or with visuals on a DVD.

They may also offer web-cast facilities which enable people, unable to attend in person, to view the service via the internet. 

This service is particularly valued by those who either live too far away, live overseas or, who may be due to ill health, are able to make the journey.

There are some restriction (due to health & safety implications) on what you can place in the coffin along with your loved one but there is nothing to stop you from requesting that letters, photographs, poems or drawings that the children have created, and some soft toys can be accommodated. 

This can sometimes be very cathartic for little ones for whom it is felt they maybe too young to attend or for bigger ones who feel they are not able to speak at the ceremony but want their heartfelt feeling to be known. 

I have known to people to be sent off with a cigarette in their hand, some boiled sweets in their pocket or a single red rose placed beside them. It is this kind of personal gesture that can bring great comfort to those left behind.

Your Funeral Director should offer this option to you but if not, please do ask and they will advise you on specific restrictions put in place by the chosen crematorium.